return to babylon

the simple pleasures of the rural life are soon dissolved in the degenerate cesspools of the modern metropolis. imagine the assault on my moral uprightness last night when i found myself at the opening night of the 2nd Annual PornFilmFestivalBerlin. oh the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune! after a short introduction by organizers Jürgen Brüning and Manuela Kay the festival opened with advertisements from BlueMovie, a festival sponsor, then a short in which poker faced actors read through the dreadful dialogue of a porn scene. These were followed by the evening's main presentation, "5 Sex Rooms und eine Küche", director Eva Heldman's documentary examination of a frankfurt brothel. pleasantly straightforward, the film followed the women as they described their experiences and opinions on relationships, sex, and prostitution. there were also a lot of sexy shoes in the film as the director has a bit of a shoe fetish. following a short Q&A with the director and lady tara, owner of the brothel, everyone (or at least it seemed like everyone) piled into a chartered double decker bus for the jaunt down to kreuzberg's L.U.X. club for the festival's opening party. entering the club to the smooth sounds of DJ Vaginal Davis (who, in a performance years ago, called me a 'little white deathrocker' - is it that obvious?), we soon found ourselves face to...er...face with performance artist Mouse, whose naughty poodle performance caught the imagination of the clubgoers. emerging from her backstage doghouse in pink poodle underwear (which disappeared in the first thirty seconds) the naughty little doggie proceeded to push a plastic bib from out her softer regions which she then tied around her neck, replacing it first with her fist and then a few plastic doggie bones. after messily eating a can of dog food, she produced several long sparklers with which, audience members assisting, she turned herself into a double fountain of sparkly light. no doubt aware of local safety regulations she removed any llingering fire hazards by filling first her femaleness with soapy water (cleanliness is close to godliness after all) and spraying the audience, then repeated the process from her behind, resulting in a general re-adjustment of audience position as not everyone had remembered to bring their umbrella along. now clean and serene Mouse gathered her playtoys and, after a few hearty rounds of applause, left the stage while the assembled clubgoers drifted along, now damp and happy....oh the simple pleasures of babylon on the spree.

Comments

[bowleserised]

But soap is so bad for the snatch!